I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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