I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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