i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
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Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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