i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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