I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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