Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
