Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
