I must be too annoying 4 u.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I will pee on everything he values.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize