woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
