he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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