I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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