No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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