Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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