the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize