Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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