We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I would fuck him just for his dog
last night I used snow as a chaser
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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