there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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