dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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