Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect