How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I need help removing her.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
