just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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