Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
