Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize