awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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