If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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