In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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