Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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