I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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