i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
