im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
