Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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