i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
