You're completely useless in the revolution.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
