its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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