just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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