Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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