And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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