maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
