you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
