her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
please come you make the beer taste better
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
