The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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