i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
