My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
