I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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