omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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