watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
