haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm always down for nudity.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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