the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?