And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity