honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.