I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.