my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
