guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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