Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
