DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize