I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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