I got chris browned last night
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
