Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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