u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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