I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
