He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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