She said her name was "party"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
