even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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