maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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